Book Review: Don’t Settle for Safe


By Teryl Warren

If you don’t believe you’re worthy of enjoying deeply fulfilling, loving relationships – then this book isn’t for you.

If you have no interest in reconciling the pains of your past so that you can move forward into a bright, promising future – then this book isn’t for you.

But if you’re ready to grow into becoming the most confident, content and authentic version of yourself that you can possibly be – then, by all means, please keep reading.

In her latest book, Don’t Settle for Safe, author, speaker, wife, mother and co-pastor of One Church LA Sarah Jakes Roberts challenges readers to “embrace the uncomfortable to become unstoppable.”  Her thesis is that we have all been uniquely and wonderfully made, with a purpose for our lives, but we often settle for less than our best and hold up our own happiness.

But what exactly is “the uncomfortable” and why on earth would we ever want to embrace it?

The uncomfortable is, in short, pain. It’s moments that we remember with regret – if we dare to look back on them, at all. And more often than not, as Roberts points out, we develop fears, insecurities and patterns of behavior to protect ourselves from both the memory of past pains, and the potential of future emotional trauma.

We do this to feel safe. We do it to feel normal. And, unfortunately, in the process, we unwittingly prevent ourselves from living the kind of abundant lives we really want.

“Illusions of safety and normalcy keep us from facing the issues that stunt our emotional growth,” she suggests in the book. “Moving toward your future requires looking honestly at your past…For positive change to take place in your soul, no area can be off limits for examination.”

In Don’t Settle for Safe, Sarah Jakes Roberts helps readers identify these harmful patterns of behavior by using personal examples and, ever transparent, she remains true to the process by making no area of her own life off limits.

From her complex experience as a mother at the age of 14, to her troubled first marriage and subsequent divorce, to growing up as the daughter of T.D. Jakes – one of the worlds’ most renowned and recognizable faith and thought leaders – she relates how she learned to peel back the protective layers under which she’d hidden her heart from scrutiny, shame, insecurity and disappointment.

“I became so obsessed with other people’s opinions of me that I didn’t take time to truly examine my heart,” she writes.

Going deeper still, she illustrates how we are each a product of our environment and how to recognize the value in every experience, while releasing ourselves from harmful communication styles, self-fulfilling prophecies and self-defeating perceptions.

“The most powerful thing you can do is choose to believe that regardless of what has happened to you, you will not allow that to change the goodness inside of you.”

And at the center of it all, of course, is faith: faith that it’s possible to enjoy peace in our own skins, faith that every trial and tribulation has helped prepare us for triumph and faith that God has a perfect plan and purpose for each of our lives.

Don’t Settle for Safe is a guidebook that, step-by-step, helps readers address emotional wounds that have never healed and helps them find answers to the questions “Why am I not happy?” and “What do I need to do to get there?”

So if you’re ready to do the work, if you’re ready to experience transformational freedom and you’re ready to live a life filled with purpose – then, yes, this book was written just for you.

Don’t Settle for Safe is available now wherever books are sold. For more information, please visit:

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