Photo Credit: Peter Griffin

Sexual intimacy in interpersonal relationships can and should be intoxicating.  In a committed relationship, sex is a passionate language that only you and your lover speak and understand.

In most cases, sexual activity is a barometer that gauges the overall health of a committed relationship; and oftentimes, when relationships are strained, sexual activity can grind to a complete halt.

Talking about sexual issues can be extremely difficult and embarrassing, but complete honesty and vulnerability are some of the hallmarks of a truly intimate relationship.

We eat right, exercise, brush and floss after every meal, but what steps do we take to promote sexual health in our daily lives? Check out the following Sexual Health Checklist for a few easy and helpful tips on how to keep your sexual intimacy performing at its peak!



  • BE HEALTHY. Sexual activity is physical activity, so it stands to reason that the better shape you’re in, the better your sexual experience will be. Maintaining a healthy body weight can do wonders for your stamina and can bolster the confidence you have in your body’s physical appearance. A healthy heart – both physically and emotionally – will increase the depth at which you can experience sexual pleasure. And speaking of physical health, how high is your STD IQ? Knowing the signs and symptoms of potential sexually transmitted ailments and conditions is critical to protecting yourself and your partner from potential harm.
  •  BE PRESENT. This may seem like a no-brainer, but physical proximity is not the same thing as “being present.”  When your lover is trying to turn you on, it’s time to turn the smart phone and the laptop off.  A mind that is wandering is not focused on the moment and the mission at-hand and, and, as much as we’d like to think we can hide it, that distance comes across loud and clear. Leave the problems of the world outside your bedroom door. Whether you lock eyes or lock hands let your partner know that you are a willing and happy participant in lovemaking.
  • BE IN AGREEMENT. We’ve all heard the statistics that men desire sex more than women. Whether this is the case or not, being in agreement with your partner about frequency, boundaries and expectations is essential to ensuring that you both feel respected, satisfied and valued. Communicate your sexual needs and come to an agreement about what is comfortable and desirable for both of you.
  • BE FLEXIBLE. And we’re not talking about “ballerina” flexible – although that certainly couldn’t hurt. “Being flexible” means being open to accepting feedback, instruction and honest communication from your partner.  Some people like chocolate ice cream, some prefer vanilla – and some don’t eat ice cream at all. We each bring our different preferences to the boudoir, so don’t feed your lover ice cream if that’s not what gets him going.  Being open to trying new things can add a level of excitement to your relationship and can open you up to new pleasures. This isn’t to say that you should do anything that makes you uncomfortable or crosses your boundaries.  But sex is an even exchange, so you must both give and receive. Your willingness to please will show your partner that his pleasure is important to you.
  • BE PROACTIVE. At the first sign of trouble, take it upon yourself to start a conversation with your partner. Oftentimes, what we may interpret as a lack of interest in sex may be evidence of an unfulfilled need or deep emotional wound. Your partner may actually need your support and compassion to reignite his passion. If either of you begin to experience physical issues that impact your sexual relationship, consult a physician immediately. Many sexual orders are treatable and, in some cases, reversible. Remember, when it comes to sexual intimacy, you and your partner are in it together, and supporting each other comes with the territory.


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