By Drew Allen

Ladies, have you ever felt like dating was a lot like one big job interview?  Well, if you have, you’re not far off. From the moment we meet you – we’re checking out your qualifications.

Based on your experience, your potential and the skills you bring to the table, we make up our minds on what position we want you to occupy in our lives – or not.  For a woman we’re seriously considering settling down with, one of the biggest questions we’ll ask ourselves is: Do I see her being the future mother of my children?


Photo Credit: Ginger Bug Jones

As always, with men, this is not a very complicated proposition.  Beyond the obvious gene pool that you bring to the table, here are some of the skills and attributes we’re looking for:
TIME MANAGEMENTYou’ve heard men complain: “Once the kids came, she let herself go” and, even worse, “She never has any time or attention left for me.”  What this all boils down to is, we’re looking for a woman who can, dare I say it, do it all?  We like a woman who has her own, full life.  In fact, we LOVE that – especially during the Playoffs – because we know we can watch EVERY game with our buddies in peace.  Seriously, though, kids require a lot of time, so a woman who knows how to juggle all of her responsibilities effectively and still look good doing it, definitely gets a nod.

PATIENCE.  If you fly off the handle at the drop of a dime, it leaves us wondering just how much you’ll be crying over spilled milk. Patience is tricky – we don’t want you to be a woman the whole world can walk all over.  But we do look to see if you’re generous when handing out second (and third) chances!

THOUGHTFULNESS. An act of thoughtfulness is like a window into a sweet soul.  We love this.  We know that if you are a genuinely thoughtful person, then you are a caring person.  Not only do we want to see you being thoughtful to us and to our future kids, but that’s a trait we want you to instill in them, as well.  So, if, while you’re out on a Saturday afternoon tearing the mall up, you happen to pick up a gift for your little niece or nephew just because you think they’ll like it, that’s something we won’t soon forget.

NURTURING.  This is a word that’s basically synonymous with “mother.” If I’m sick in bed with the flu, are you in the kitchen chef-ing up the chicken noodle soup, or are you staying far, far away from me so you don’t catch what I’ve got?  You already know that we’re some of the biggest babies when we don’t feel well, so why not show us how great a mom you’ll be by cutting your teeth on us?

INTERPERSONAL SKILLS.  Okay, if you don’t have any friends, or you’re constantly getting into beefs with the one or two friends you’ve got, then that’s a bit of a red flag that you may have issues getting along with people.  Selfishness and poor conflict resolution skills are definite no-no’s.  Believe it or not, we’re watching how you treat your own family, and if we don’t like what we see, it doesn’t mean we’ll dump you on the spot, but don’t hold your breath for a commitment any time soon.

HUMILITY.  We’re not looking for Miss Diva or Miss Dainty when we’re evaluating candidates for the future mother of our kids.  Kids are high-energy and playful, so, if you never have a hair out place and you never break a nail, chances are you are not doing the whole mother thing to the fullest.  A woman who can get her hands dirty and can laugh – especially at herself – is a woman who can take pleasure in the simple things in life. Translation: she is probably a woman who will delight in school plays and cheer alongside us at Little League games.

So there you have it.  Just like with any job, no one candidate possesses all of the experience, training or skills that we’re looking for.  But, if you have enough of the right skills and, most importantly, the willingness to learn, then, more than likely, we’ll want to hire you for the most important job our woman will ever have.

About the Author: Drew Allen is a former talk show host and writer originally from the Midwest. He currently lives in southern California.

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