By Marc Alexander

“Fashion changes, but style endures.”
― Coco Chanel

Style what is it? Who has it? Who is stylish?

Style is more than clothes or fashion, though that is part of it. Style is the way you do the things you do. The way you respond to people and the way you demand to be treated. It is your politeness and your consideration, it is the way you carry yourself and the look in your eye when you meet somebody. Style is being on and sometimes ahead of the curve.

Guys may not say it (Do we say anything?) but we notice style. We notice good style and we really, really notice bad style.  Your style makes a difference because, after the initial boom! Pow! what do you think is gonna hold a guy still? What’s going to keep him interested and make him eager to see you again and again? Your style, your panache, your unique you-ness.

The attributes and attitudes that set you apart from the rest are important believe it or not.  We notice your hair, your clothes, and especially your difference. We notice if you wear the same thing over and over and we notice if you are at the beach trudging through the sand in heels, tight jeans, and  a sweater. We notice if you dominate a conversation with complaints or if you are a good listener.  Guys notice style because style lasts!

“Create your own style… let it be unique for yourself and yet identifiable for others.”
― Anna Wintour, Editor in Chief, VOGUE Magazine

When it comes to style ladies, there are two epidemics plaguing the Earth . They are very similar, but, yet they are complete opposites. One has the initials DTM (Doing too Much) and the other DTL (Doing too Little) and they are equally detrimental when it comes to style offenses.

Doing Too Little – Ladies, laziness is the enemy of style.  If style is Supergirl then laziness is a red kryptonite clutch purse.  Rocking the same type of outfit without fail because it’s easy and doesn’t need to be ironed is OK for a hectic week but not for a career. Change up something if it’s just the color of your lip-gloss.  Change is good. Cut your hair shorter than it’s ever been before and laugh when your friends say they would be scared to try it. The same style over and over becomes no style. The same thing can be said about your demeanor. If you are usually reserved and keep your thoughts and opinions to yourself at work or with your peers, flip the script and be the first one to speak and be firm. Change your style from “Mute” to “Volume Up” and watch people give you more room and respect.

 A little effort to constantly re-define yourself or reinforce your uniqueness goes a long way.

When you’re wearing make up to the gym, you are doing too much. When you are at your kid’s football/soccer/volleyball game in a cat suit and a weave, you are doing too much. Projecting style at all times is good, but excessive attempts at style are NEVER good.  Excess makes you look like a thirsty, desperate attention-seeker. Over styling and or being over stylized screams “no taste!”

Is your style aggressive and forceful? Are you a ,“I wish a blankety-blank would” kind of lady? Become self aware, pay attention to the way people react when you come around. Do they light up or do they soon scatter? It could be because your style is too much too often. Once again, hit reset. When you feel the need to “Go all in” or “Go HAM” go halfway in or don’t go in at all. Fall back and observe, see the whole picture not just your part. As they say in sports, let the game come to you for a change.

“Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say, and not giving a damn.”
― Gore Vidal

Ultimately, your style is a manifestation of your confidence. It is the reflection of the person that you think you are and who you want others to see you as. It may or may not be important to you, but know that other people – and men, specifically – are watching. And it DOES make a difference to them.

So keep it moving and keep it fresh,  and I guarantee your style will serve you well.