What He Wants


By Tripp

Even the healthiest intimate relationships have issues. There’s no such thing as a perfect boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife.  Flaws will always exist, but it’s how you deal with them that make a relationship work. As we enter a new year, it’s important to know how to handle conflicts. Let’s go over 3 of the most common relationship issues and how you should approach each one.

Photo Credit: Hang In There

Communication. I mention this first because it is the basis for fixing all problems in any relationship. When something is wrong it’s always better to discuss it then hold it in. Don’t be scared to discuss important issues with your partner. If you feel something is wrong, then speak up, because that feeling won’t change. When you bring up issues, try not to accuse the other person. For example use phrases like, “I feel angry,” rather than, “you make me angry”. If you have solid communication with your partner from day one, it will be easier to soar through the relationship with minimal problems.

Habits. Everyone has annoying tendencies like forgetfulness, messiness, turning music up too loud, and the list goes on. When you come across these in your relationship it’s common to get easily agitated. Depending on what habits are annoying you, it’s important to stay calm and be sensitive. Most people don’t like to hear that they do something that frustrates others. It hurts their ego. When you bring these up to your partner let them know gently. Instead of saying things like, “you must be deaf, you’re always blasting the music”, try  “you tend to turn the music up loud, can we make sure to keep it on a better level, because it distracts me.” Choose your words carefully, so you don’t make the conversation into something bigger than it needs to be. It may come across cheesy, but in the end it will help.

Sex. If someone isn’t getting off, you shouldn’t be shy about discussing it. If you’re not getting what you want sexually out of a relationship, then it could fall into a downward spiral. It’s important to be honest about what you like in bed – even if it means discussing some of your deepest fantasies.  You never know, your partner might actually have the same fantasies. Also, remember not to be judgmental of your partner’s likes and dislikes. Be open to hearing and discussing everything. You just might open your relationship up to a whole new and more interesting world.

What if sex is not happening frequently enough? This is also something that needs discussion. Don’t hold back on this. Let your partner know that you feel something is off. But, choose this conversation wisely. If you are getting physical multiple times a week and your partner happens to be too tired one night, then let it go. It’s normal for people to have a low sex drive after a long day of work. This is where the afternoon delight comes in. Use creative ways to make time for your sex life.

Whatever conflicts may arise in your relationships, the bottom line is, it’s imperative that you listen to each other. Don’t wait to talk and let things fester. Really listen to what your partner has to say and try to understand why they are saying it. Then be open to working out a solution and compromise together.


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