What He Wants – May

You’ve heard that relationships are work—and who out there really needs more work? The fact is, dating and relationships can be wonderful, fulfilling, stressful and confusing, all at the same time. When guessing games and miscommunications get into the mix, the dating game can become totally overwhelming; and getting advice from your girlfriends—who don’t think like men—can take you completely down the wrong path!  So if you’ve ever been unsure and found yourself asking “what he really wants,” then join us here, in each issue for “What He Wants” and get fresh and sexy perspectives on relationships and dating—from a man’s point of view!

A Mother after My Own Heart

By Tripp

Photo Credit: Tony Alter

On more than one occasion, I’ve heard women say, “You know every guy wants to marry a woman who’s just like his mother, right?”

“That’s disgusting,” I reply every time.

“Why is it disgusting?” (They never seem to “get it!”)

“Because it sounds like something out of a psychology book.”

You know what I’m talking about: that whole Oedipus thing where a boy’s emotions are aroused by his mother at an early age. Yuck.

But after mulling it over, I finally understood what (I think) women mean when they say that:  every guy wants to marry a woman who has similar personality traits to his mother. I laughed to myself and thought, “I remember dating a woman who acted just like my mother.” Let me reiterate, not like a mom, but who had similar characteristics to my mom. When I was with her, I always had a weird feeling – as if I knew this woman from somewhere or she reminded me of someone. It actually got creepy after a while. Then one day it hit me: she was just like my mom. We stopped dating soon after.

I had to go back to the drawing board and make an honest assessment. “Do guys really want woman who’s just like our mother? In that moment, I realized something I think a lot of guys don’t even realize they like: it’s not about looks or personality. It’s about being mothered. Yes! That’s it!

There’s a certain type of nurture that a woman can give that a man finds comforting. A gentle touch that (most guys won’t admit) is extremely soothing, whether it’s in the bedroom, or when we’re upset, or when we come home from a hard day’s work. The interesting thing I learned is that it doesn’t necessarily come from your girlfriend or wife. It can also come from a friend who is a woman.

I find that whenever I’m down, I immediately go to a woman for comfort. Like I said, you ladies have that touch. We like it when you’re here for us, through the good times and the bad. We like it when you support us in all of our endeavors and give us the encouragement we need to keep going.

But, there is a fine line between the nurturing mother-type and the mother that nags. Yes, we do want the comfort and caring, but we don’t like the small complaints about our facial hair being too long. Instead, we want to know that you’ll be there for us when we need your moral support and womanly touch. It’s those things that we like about you, not your ability to analyze every little detail.

Alright, ladies, let me be clear. It’s not that a guy wants a woman who’s just like his mother. What he wants is a woman who will always be there for him, acknowledge him, and a woman who will take care of him when he needs her. Just as his mother did.

So I want to wish every woman out there a “Happy Mother’s Day;” because even if you aren’t a mother, you sure have that instinct in you!

[learn_more caption="About The Expert" state="open"] Tripp is a dating coach in Southern California. His interests are human psychology, communication and writing. In his free time, he produces and co-hosts a podcast called “Dudes Talking About Chicks,” where he discusses everyday dating and relationship issues. He is passionate about helping others help themselves through motivation and creating realistic goals.

Website: trippadvice.com, dtac.fm

Facebook: facebook.com/dudetalk

Twitter: twitter.com/trippadvice[/learn_more]

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