What He Wants

Posted by Tripp on Saturday, October 8, 2011 · 1 Comment

The Keys to Sharing Space

By Tripp

There are many steps to take when you get into a relationship. The first date. The first kiss. Meeting the friends. Meeting the parents. Then, when things get more serious, you may choose to live together. If you’ve lived with another person before, then you know the work that goes into it. If you haven’t, let me give you a few tips that will give you a heads up (from the man’s perspective):

Photo Credit - guardian.co.uk

Decorating: Don’t be fooled, we care! Yes, it’s true. We like to make the place look suave. We did put up posters in our dorm room. Remember? We also picked out that cool leather couch, when we had our own bachelor pad. So, now that we are living with you, we want some say. Do we care about what color the knobs are on the kitchen cabinets? Not as much as the other stuff. It’s the details we seem to look over the most when it comes to decorating our place. But, we like to have our say in furniture, electronics and placement of household items. You and your man should be doing this together. If he happens to have poor taste, just go easy on him. Explain to him what works and why.

Teamwork: Every relationship needs teamwork. This idea is more important when you begin to live with someone. Either man or woman, every person needs to have their roles in the household. Not permanently. But, if one person does one chore, the other person should reciprocate. Let me explain. If one decides to cook, the other should do the dishes. If one cleans up the bathroom one week, the other should do it the following week. Is there something in the house that is broken? Do it together! These are the tiny details that make a household work. They may seem small, but teamwork keeps the relationship strong and causes less of those bickering moments.

Compromise: There will be many times when the two of you will have different wants. One may want a poker night or the other may not feel like cleaning up. You might want to get a new piece of furniture or you’re deciding who should clean up the kitchen after a big party. As a man, I may want to watch my gory action/horror flick because it’s one of my favorite types of movies. I would hope my other would want to watch with me or not get upset that I plan on taking some time to watch it. When she wants to watch her favorite movies, I will act the same way. It’s important to compromise and be fair to each other. It’s one of the most important parts of living with someone. Understanding your significant other’s wants is key to surviving the relationship.

Alone Time: Sound familiar? It’s because I have talked about this before. As far as men go, we definitely like our space. Don’t get me wrong; we love spending time with you. That’s why we moved in together. We want to talk to you about our day and we want to hear all about yours. But, if one of us wants to go out and get a drink with our friends or go play our instrument once in awhile, it should not be an issue. Alone time can be very beneficial to the relationship because it breaks up the routine a bit. It’s nice to come back to your partner and feel refreshed.

These tips are not just important for living together. They are the basic guidelines for a successful relationship. It’s beneficial to apply these concepts to all parts of the relationship, whether you are living together or not. When you come together and share the same space, it’s all about merging the lives you have. It’s about going through the fine details and making the differences work. Then comes all the fun.

Tripp

Tripp is a dating coach in Southern California. His interests are human psychology, communication and writing. In his free time, he produces and co-hosts a podcast called “Dudes Talking About Chicks,” where he discusses everyday dating and relationship issues. He is passionate about helping others help themselves through motivation and creating realistic goals.