What He Wants – June

It’s been said that the relationship a woman shares with her father as a child can greatly influence her romantic relationships as an adult. Over the years, there’s been a lot of discussion in the media about how women can resolve their “Daddy issues.” But in this installment of “What He Wants,” resident relationship expert Tripp offers his take on dealing with Dads from the significant other’s point of view.

Meet the Parents

By Tripp

There comes a time in every man’s life when he meets his girlfriend’s parents. It’s a big step in your relationship; and even though he may be playing it cool when he’s standing there shaking your father’s hand there’s actually a lot going through your man’s mind in that moment.

When I first meet a woman’s father, I ask myself three questions: First, “how protective is he?” Second, “What can I learn from him that will help me understand her better?” Third, and possibly most important, “What is his drink of choice?”

Most fathers are very protective of their daughters. It’s been my experience that a protective father doesn’t throw out the cliché demand, “What are your intentions with my daughter?” Nope.

Ever see Robert DeNiro in Meet the Parents? Yeah, it’s a lot more like that. He watches you with a close eye. He silently tests you. He studies how you speak to him (what you say and how you say it) and how you treat his daughter. He wants to know what you and your parents do for a living. Of course, this isn’t always the case, but when it happens, it’s intimidating. Do I get scared? Yes. But, no matter what, I always remember to treat him with respect. I try to speak eloquently. Ask (appropriate) questions. Be witty and personable.

Beyond the initial awkwardness, meeting a woman’s father is a great opportunity for me to learn more about her. I get a good idea of how she was raised and why she is the way she is. For example, her father may keep a close eye on every detail of her life. This may explain why she tends to get wild at parties. People who are constantly judged and closely watched by their parents tend to lash out. Or maybe her father spoils her, which could explain her obsession with material possessions. These are important details worth noting.

Call me old-fashioned, but I also like to know his drink of choice. Bonding with another man over drinks is timeless. I like to see what he orders at dinner and tattoo that in my brain so that when we sit down for drinks in the future, I will know what to order. This helps start off any conversation smoothly.

The relationship between a woman and her father is very special and unique. That is why developing a good rapport with a woman’s father is essential for any man in a serious relationship. It all comes down to a mutual interest in his little girl. Both of us (hopefully) have good intentions for you, so it’s key that we not step on each other’s toes. Ladies, it’s also important for him to remember that there is nothing more important than family. Your family has been there for you much longer than any man has, and if he wants to be part of your family someday, he must respect and understand this.

[learn_more caption="About The Expert" state="open"] Tripp is a dating coach in Southern California. His interests are human psychology, communication and writing. In his free time, he produces and co-hosts a podcast called “Dudes Talking About Chicks,” where he discusses everyday dating and relationship issues. He is passionate about helping others help themselves through motivation and creating realistic goals.

Website: trippadvice.com, dtac.fm

Facebook: facebook.com/dudetalk

Twitter: twitter.com/trippadvice[/learn_more]

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